Oli*ver

I wrote the previous post last night and this afternoon, before Oli*ver again woke up from a nap with croup. He sounded pretty bad, so went back to Urgent Care, and his oxygen was quite low again, and he was wheezing hard. He received a breathing treatment and a steriod shot in each leg. The doc was pretty concerned that his breathing was still so bad 5 days after the onset of his ilness, and pulled out the "big guns" with this particular steroid, as well as antibiotics just in case he has a dangerous bacterial infection. He also needs the protection of antibiotics because his immunity is quite compromised from the steroid.

This is all in all quite a frustrating sitation. Neither Jo*el or I like having him on all these meds, but there isn't much alternative --the boy has to breathe. We are praying that he'll be better in a few hours when the steroid starts to take effect, but it could be a long night. We will be watching him very closely. K*athy was again kind enough to stay with No*ah and help out when I got home. True to form, No*ah was pretty sweet with grandma, but royally mad at me when I got home. Not only ws I not there when he woke up from his nap, but I had the gall to take his brother with me!

We are really looking forward to Omie's visit tomorrow, and their 2nd birthday party on Saturday. Hopefully the next post will be joyful birthday pictures.

No*ah

No*ah has been quite a handful this week, especially with his parents. We had a lot going on for a few days, and he’s been sick, so his tantrumy outbursts and limit pushing are not really a surprise. I think that the reason Jo*el and I tend to see the worst of his behavior is at least in part because he feels the safest of all with us, and also the most let down by us when one of us is unable to lift him, or is gone for the day or night. Everyone else can come and go, even though they are missed, but No*ah counts on us to be there every single day. Separation and disruption have always been especially difficult for him.



When I get overwhelmed, I try to remember that both boys are learning and growing at a rate adults can barely fathom. If I learned and changed as much in one week as my toddlers do, I’d be a super-genius by now! It’s quite a roller coaster our little ones are on, full of new skills and words and concepts, and a never-ending quest for independence and autonomy.



What is interesting for me to witness with No*ah is that sometimes he seems visibly relived when we set a clear limit such as a time-out. Afterwards, he calms down, usually sighs, gives me a hug, and we start again. This is especially the case if I am calm myself. It is as if he is relieved that he doesn’t have to negotiate everything by himself, and that we are in charge, and that indeed, the rules are still what he thought they were. This kid needs ot know what to expect. Seasoned parents will tell you that this is the case with all kids to some extent (though the most effective methods to get your point across do not seem to me to be identical for all children, and aren’t for mine), but there is nothing like seeing it for yourself. In addition to being reminded of the expectations we have of him, we also have an opportunity to reconnect – to look each other in the eye, to hug, and have one of our increasingly complex conversations. Often we read a story together, and he sits in my lap and leans into me, flexing the soles of his feet against the carpet. I read to him with my chin resting on his head, and all is well again.

Yesterday evening and afternoon were filled with little tantrums and whining, and a lot of energetic song and dance on my part to keep things moving along and get two very tired boys fed, bathed, and into their cribs. It was one of those evenings that took a lot of patience and concentrated effort to get through, and by the time I pulled two dripping, reluctant boys out of the tub, I was feeling like a partially deflated balloon. Boys were diapered, and dressed, Legos were picked up, stories were read just so, and I turned out the light for prayers. Both boys sleep with bunny lovies, a long ago gift from their Omie, and No*ah is particularly attached to his. Last night No*ah decided that bunny was to be summarily evicted, and threw him out of his crib. I knew this was a stall tactic, a new version of the popular toddler game of “I want that, no I don’t want that, no, I do want that!”. I took a deep breath and negotiated that Bunny could serve a time-out in the corner of his crib. “Stay sitting, Bunny!” said No*ah. I picked up each boy and prayed with him one by one, about our day, thanking God for the sunshine that day, and for the people in their lives. They interject their own thanksgivings these days, for a particular playmate or something that happened, or even for applesauce or stuffed animals, ending with their own sleepy Amens. Oli*ver was last, and on my way out, in the dim light of their ladybug nightlight, I noticed that No*ah was lying in the usual position, on his back, holding Bunny with both hands, Bunny’s ears against his left cheek. His eyes were nearly closed.

Apparently, No*ah caved and Bunny was sprung from his confinement mere moments after being placed there. I smiled, and thought: that’s where we’re different, kiddo...

Oliv*er in hospital overnight

UPDATE: We are all home. Olive*r is fine and slept all night in the hospital, needing no more treatment. No*ah woke up at least three times and asked for his brother each time I went in. He threw the biggest tantrum I've seen in a long while this morning. I think it was really hard for him to be apart from his brother, and he finally kind of melted down. Oli*ver asked for No*ah yesterday too, but was probably more distracted by being in a strange place and being sick. According to Jo*el, they were delighted to be reunited, and held hands the whole way home in the car.
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It's been a challenging few days here at our little household. On Wednesday afternoon, I (Min*ke) slipped on the ice. I didn't think much of it until about 4 AM the next morning when I woke up in a lot of pain. I went into Urgent Care that morning and found out I had a bit of whiplash, and was not to lift anything for 4 days. The whole right side of my neck was swollen.

Kath*y, Meagan*n and the rest of the family pitched in all kinds of ways, but then both boys got sick. Noah got over the worst of a bad cold pretty quickly, but this morning Oliv*er seemed to be having some breathing trouble, so Kathy and I took him to Urgent Care (Kath*y came because Joe*l was playing at church and I couldn't lift Oliv*r). He checked out fine, so they sent us back home, but a few hours later he woke up from his nap with a very high (104.9!) fever and major croup, so we were off to the Emergency Room.

He got oral steroids and 2 treatments of epinephrine by inhaler and is much, much better, but croup often gets worse at night, so they want to keep him until morning just in case he needs more of the inhaler treatments. The doctor says he'll probably be just fine by tomorrow. It was the same doc and same examining room we had last year when Oliv*r went to the same hospital with a high fever and bulging fontanel that turned out to be a bad ear infection. All in all, this visit wasn't as scary as that one, but we definitely needed to be there today. His blood oxygen was low, and he sounded terrible, just gasping for air. He was very brave, though, and did great job putting up with all the poking and prodding.

When he was breathing better, I asked about food for him. They gave him Lorna Doone cookies, for crying out loud! He ate 8 of them. Jo*el came to the hospital at 7:30 and took over so I could go home and be with Noa*h. N*oah did well today too with Ste*ve and Kath*y and Meag*an all helping out with everything. We are so fortunate and grateful for all their help! I see people all the time at the hospital where I work that are stuck there all day with all their kids.

Next week we celebrate the boys' 2nd birthday, and we will also get to see Omie (my mom). We pray that everything calms down by then and that this awful weekend will be a distant memory.

I'll update when Oli*ver is home. Here are some pictures from the last couple of weeks while I'm at it:

Here is Dad, trying in vain to take a nap on the couch.


Noa*h and his doggie eventually got their way and woke him up.


The boys playing one of their games, which had something to do with drinking soup and finding their toes.


Here is Joe*l coming in from the storm last week. We ended up getting over 2 feet of snow in a week.


Do you see the slide in this picture? It was just about buried by the time the snow stopped.


This was the night before. Our walk is already pretty much invisible, and we got many more inches after this:


It took Joe*el a couple of hours to dig us out. I took the light rail to work, as I wasn't about to drive in all that snow.


Meag*an is home! This picture was her coming up the steps. The boys (actually, all of us) were very happy to see her after 2 whole months in India.


This was Saturday. The boys love to walk along holding hands these days, and since that means they don't go in opposite directions, I'm very appreciative of this habit. (And of course, it's awfully sweet).


However, Meaga*n was quickly reminded that it isn't all sunshine and roses with toddler twins...


Uncle Mar*k is home too, after several months in Hawaii. He came over to help rake the snow off the roof and play with the boys. Welcome home Mar*k and Meag*an!


We very much hope that the next time one of our family members ends up in the hospital, it will be Jennife*r (Jo*el's sister), who is due with her first baby in the next few weeks. We're starting to explain to the boys that sometimes we have to share grandma and grandma.

And finally, this one's for you, Opa: